


kiss kiss fall in love

by OverTheMoonShine



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: M/M, changkyun and his adventures in love, hyungkyun end-game, indulgent fluff for the soft soul
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-09
Updated: 2019-04-28
Packaged: 2020-01-07 10:30:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,059
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18408812
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OverTheMoonShine/pseuds/OverTheMoonShine
Summary: The 6 times Changkyun falls in love (whatever that seems to mean, wherever home seems to be).i. jooheonii. shownu





	1. i. kindergarten

Changkyun falls in love with Jooheon when love is full of primary colours and means  _ squeezing onto a single mattress during nap time, sipping cold milk together on hot afternoons, sharing crayons and trading artwork when it’s time to go home.  _

He is 4 (almost 5!), and still groggy from the shift back to Seoul from Boston, where he’d spent all of his childhood before. 

“We’re going home, Changkyunnie,” is what his mother tells him in Korean, when he’d asked her why they were packing all his super-hero toys into boxes and taking off the glow-in-the-dark space stickers off his ceiling.

“We’re not home?” Changkyun replies in English, because that’s what you did in America to fit in at school and it’s become a bit of a habit, even at home. He feels his heartbeat pick up a little in his chest, because apparently, the definition of  _ home _ that he’s been carrying has been wrong for the duration of his short life.

His mother doesn’t notice his panic, and pats him on the head. “To Seoul. You were born there, but we came here quite soon after.”

_ What about the science fair they have lined up at end of the school year? _ , the question is on his lips, waiting to be asked. He had already decided to build a weather-vane, drawn up the schematics for it even (a word he’d overhead his father using the other day, which he has since tried to slip into every other sentence he said then after, determined to know how to use it properly). 

The doubt must show on his face now, because his mother kisses him on the cheek, “I can hear your brain whirring away, my little genius. Don’t worry, you’ll love it in Korea.”

He doesn’t want to disagree with his mother since she’s almost always correct, but even so, Changkyun’s frown deepens which prompts his mother to let out a laugh. “You’re just like your father, you both think so hard.”

“That’s a good thing, right?” Changkyun asks worriedly. In this new world where home means a place he’s never seen before, doesn’t even remember, he needs to make sure that everything else has remained constant, that no other definition have shifted as well.

“Of course,” his mother scoops him off the floor, holds him close in her arms. He likes this feeling, of being so close to hear that he can almost hear her heartbeat if he presses his ear against her chest. “It’s what I love most about you.”

Four months later, he finds himself enrolled in a kindergarten in Seoul, the new kid in a room full of children who’ve grown up together. “I’m Im Changkyun, I’ll be 6 in January,” he says carefully, self-conscious in front of the class. His voice is as small as the distance between Seoul and Boston is long. “My favourite colour is purple and my favourite animal is a wolf.” 

“Everyone say hello to Changkyun, he’s moved over from America, and he’ll be part of our class from now on,” the teacher says warmly, and his new classmates shout out their greetings with various levels of enthusiasm, some still sleepy from the early morning. She nods at him, and he takes that as his cue to run back to his seat at the back. There are only two other children at his table, and one of them is lying face-flat on the table, drooling slightly in his sleep. 

The morning passes by in a blur, with lots of singing and little rhymes. Changkyun’s having more fun than he thought he would, although his heart still pines for Chestnut Hill. It’s mid-October, which means he would have been preparing his Halloween costume and charting out the best route with Xavier and Alex (his two best, best friends in the whole world whom he’s only had four phone-calls with since he’s gotten to Korea) to get the most amount of candy. He wonders if they’re having fun without him, but realises that this thought makes him more sad than anything else, and so decides to push it out of his mind. 

_ Don’t cry over spilled milk _ , is what his mother tells him sometimes when he tells her about his  _ what if _ s.  _ So I should drink up the milk instead? _ he usually replies cheekily,  _ like a baby kitten. _

“Are you okay?” asks the kid who had been sleeping at his table. It’s craft time, and there are more colour pencils and crayons than he knows numbers on the table. “It’s okay to miss your parents on the first day. A lot of people cry.”

“It’s not my parents,” Changkyun shoots back, sulky at being misunderstood and for being mistaken for being a homesick kid. He may be 4 years and 9 months old, but he isn’t a baby! 

The kid tilts his head to the side, and looks at him curiously, “Oh?”

“I miss my home,” Changkyun says, because the kid seems nice enough and his mum did tell him to make friends. But saying these words out loud makes how he’s feeling suddenly seem so real that he can’t deny the longing in his heart, and his eyes grow hot with this realisation. But no, he’s not going to cry like some dumb baby.

The kid scoots closer to him, already well attuned with the signs of a possibly oncoming wave of tears, and pats him gently on the arm, “Don’t worry. You’ll be home soon.”

“Not this one,” Changkyun says. Painfully self-aware, he can hear the whine in his voice, and dislikes how much of a child it makes him sound like, even as he knows he may end up bursting into tears. “My other home.”

At the thought of Chestnut Hill and the little squirrels that dart across the pavement just outside his house, he gives up trying to act cool and old, and the first tear drops down his cheek. And then the second, then the third, and too quickly, Changkyun finds himself in the middle of a silent crying fit, tears rolling down his face and if he weren’t so so full of sadness and longing for Chestnut Hill, he would be embarrassed by the mess he’s creating.

“Hey, hey, hey,” the kid says, all panicky and worried at how quickly Changkyun has dissolved into tears. He turns around to find the teacher, but they’re preoccupied with other classmates, in tantrums and little fights of their own, their attention drawn to louder students. With no help in sight, he seems to freeze for a moment, even as Changkyun’s shoulders shake with his quiet sobs. He pulls himself closer to Changkyun, and clumsily wipes the tears from his face, just like how what his parents do at home when he’s sad. “Okay, okay, it’s okay to cry. My mum says it’s good to let everything out.”

“I want to go home,” he sobs, and falls face forward into the boy’s arms. The boy barely flinches and wraps his short arms around Changkyun, just like how Changkyun knows his mother does to his father and his father does for his mother when either of them are upset. “I miss America. I miss my home and my friends.”

He cries into the boy’s shoulder until he feels like his eyes are dry and his throat is scratchy. “Are you feeling better?” the boy asks, patting Changkyun softly on the head. 

“I’m not a baby,” he mumbles into the boy’s shoulder, now calm enough to start feeling mortified (another English word he’s picked up from father at the breakfast table, all those months ago in America; at his mother’s insistence, they only talk in Korean at home now) that he’s spent the past 5 minutes crying in someone’s arms. He quickly sits up, but the boy doesn’t let go of him entirely and holds his hand. It’s warm and small, like the dimples in the boy’s cheeks. “I’m sorry for putting snot in your jacket.”

The boy shrugs, and smiles kindly at him, “Your name is Changkyun, right?”

Changkyun nods.

“I was listening just now,” he continues, his hand still clutching Changkyun’s. “You’re one year younger than me, so you can call me hyung. I’m Jooheon.”

“Okay, Jooheon hyung,” Changkyun answers, trying out the words. They’re foreign but not exactly unpleasant, he can’t decide if it’s a good or bad thing, this new strange relationships he’s forming. He’s never had to really  _ really _ call anyone but his older brother “hyung” before. 

Jooheon laughs at how Changkyun’s wrinkling his nose as he’s thinking through his reaction. It’s a sound that fills his chest with warmth, especially so when the boy continues to say, “I’ll be your friend, so you don’t miss your home so much. Okay?”

Unbidden, the corners of Changkyun’s lips turn up slowly, and Jooheon’s grin grows wider. Changkyun thinks he wants to put his fingers into Jooheon’s dimples at his smile, but he only squeezes the older boy’s hand, tightly in response, and says, “Okay, hyung.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'd originally intended to finish this in time for kyun's birthday this year, but evidently, life had other plans. curse you, lack of discipline in writing!
> 
> come talk to me on[ twitter](https://twitter.com/legofroggo) , or on my super newly created [curiouscat](https://curiouscat.me/legofroggo), and for everyone (anyone?) who's waiting for an update to Lemonade, i apologise profusely, i'll finish it, i promise!!!


	2. primary school, year one

Changkyun meets Hyunwoo in his first year of primary school. Standing in front of the school gate, he’s so nervous he feels like he could throw up.

“You’re frowning again Kyun-ah,” his mother says. She bends down to neaten his hair, and pats him on his head, a gentle smile on her face. Just for the first day, she had insisted to accompany him all the way to the school gates, despite his earlier protests that “ _Honey-hyung says that everyone walks to school by themselves. I don’t want everyone to think that I’m a baby._ ”

He’s secretly glad that his mother had came with him now though, with the butterflies that are fluttering so hard in his stomach, they’re on the verge of flying out.

It’s safe to say that of everything in the world, even more so than monsters and ghosts and airplane flights, Changkyun hates meeting new people. It’s easier when he’s just by himself, or playing with friends like he already knows, like Jooheon-hyung, who’s promised to call him at the end of the day, when they’re home from school, so they can both talk about what their first day of schools were like.

“I wish Honey-hyung was in this school too,” Changkyun says, his face pulling into a pout as he does. “It’s not fair that best friends can’t go together.”

His mother laughs, having heard this complaint the whole week leading up to his first day, “Don’t you want to meet more friends, just like your Honey-hyung?”

Changkyun shakes his head, his expression as serious as a 6 year old’s can be in such life-or-death situation can be, “One is enough.”

“Come on, my genius, let’s get you to school,” is all his mother says, leading him into the compound by the hand.

It’s not as bad as he thought it would be.

It’s _definitely_ not as bad as he thought it would be.

Changkyun is wondering what he should tell Jooheon about his day, on the subway home from school. He’d pleaded with his mother to let him go home on his own, and she’d reluctantly agreed, so now he’s swinging his legs from one of the train seats, trying to sort out his feelings from the day.

“Did you have fun?” Jooheon all but yells into the phone receiver when they finally make the call in the evening. “I met so many kids. My classmates are all _so_ cool, one of them even brought this cool robot and we played with it during the break. The teachers were really nice too.”

“They’re not as cool as you are though,” Jooheon hurriedly corrects himself, mistaking Changkyun’s silence for jealousy, which admittedly, is a fair assumption to make given the amount of times Changkyun has pouted and whined whenever Jooheon doesn’t play along with his make-belief games in school. But playing ghost-busters and demon slayers is fun! It’s not even _that_ scary, he doesn’t get why his hyung screams half the time they’re pretending to be exorcising a demon. “Kyunnie, you’re still my best friend.”

“I need to tell you something,” Changkyun whispers into the phone receiver, all in a rush because he doesn’t know how to deal with all the feelings jumbled up around inside of him. “But you have to to promise not to say it to anyone else, okay?”

He can picture the older boy nodding eagerly, as he exclaims, “I promise!” into the receiver.

“You really can’t tell anyone else!”

“Don’t you trust me?” Jooheon laughs, but Changkyun can recognise the pout in his voice, and his lips turn upwards because he loves his hyung, he really does. Without him, he doesn’t think he would have had as much fun in his first year back in Seoul, doesn’t think that he would have been able to get through the week in between the calls back home to Boston, the same calls which have slowly started petering off recently.

“Of course I do, hyung,” Changkyun answers. “I need to tell you. I met someone really, really, really, I don’t know how to describe him, at school today.”

And just like that it all comes out, how Changkyun understands what it means when all those movies he sometimes watches with his parents talking about _love at first sight_ , and _I knew he was The One._ Of course, it was always a girl talking about a boy, but he can’t deny how his heart had started speeding up for no reason when Hyunwoo - Hyunwoo- _hyung_ (Changkyun feels a delighted scream building up inside him at that thought) - first takes his hand.

“So you’re Changkyun huh?” Hyunwoo says, when they meet, at Changkyun’s classroom.

Finally managing to shoo his mother away, Changkyun had been nervously watching the rest of his classmates filing in, although it did make him feel slightly better to see similar looks of apprehension on some of their faces. The bell rings, and his teacher introduces herself, and that _this year, there’ll be a special programme for all of you! We have gotten volunteers from the lovely older students in year three and year four to show you around the school for the first week._

Changkyun’s stomach twists in anxiety at that announcement. It’s difficult enough talking to kids his age - they laugh, sometimes, although not unkindly at his accent, at how he can’t find the right words in Korean - much less with older people, where honorifics and being proper all come into play.

“I’m Hyunwoo,” a tanned tall boy says in front of Changkyun, jolting him out of his growing worry about how the school year would turn out. It’s only now Changkyun realises that he’s zoned out (again, like he’s prone to do), and there are many, many more students in the classroom than before. “I’m a fourth year, and I’ll be your buddy this year.”

“Hello,” Changkyun replies, more quiet than he means to be. He looks around the classroom, that’s bustling with conversation between his classmates and their buddies.

Hyunwoo doesn’t seem bothered by the lack of conversation, simply pulling up a chair beside Changkyun. He’s got a gentle smile on his face, and Changkyun doesn’t know why, but it makes him feel slightly better. In fact, he thinks that Hyunwoo may be the nicest boy that he’s ever seen in his life - and that’s saying a lot since he knows Jooheon-hyung too.

“I was really scared on my first day of school too. It’s hard to talk to new people, isn’t it?” Hyunwoo says, as if he can see right into Changkyun’s head, but in a nice way - as if Hyunwoo has all the answers in the world to questions that Changkyun hasn't even asked yet. “I don’t have younger siblings at home, but I’ll try my best to be a good senior to you.”

Eyes wide, Changkyun nods, “I’ve an older brother, but he doesn’t really play with me anymore.”

“We can hang out during lunch. What sort of games do you like?” Hyunwoo asks, leaning in closer to catch Changkyun’s words. For some reason, the tips of Changkyun’s ears grow hot.

“Hunting ghosts and catching monsters,” Changkyun says, trying to sound cooler than he feels. He thinks about Jooheon-hyung and how they’ve drawn up a plan to develop a ghost-hunting back-pack that would store all the mean spirits they encounter, and stifles a laugh recalling how doubtful Jooheon-hyung had looked even after Changkyun had assured him that _trust me I’m a scientist! They won’t get to you after they’re in the bag. I promise I’ll protect you._

Hyunwoo’s smile grows wider and Changkyun can’t see his eyes in the way they crinkle up in his smiles. He places his hand over Changkyun’s, and suddenly all Changkyun can hear is his heart-beat speeding up in his ears, all he can feel is the softness of Hyunwoo’s palms over his. They’re slightly cold, but not unpleasantly so, and he thinks he could stay in this moment forever. “That sounds fun! You can show me all the ghosts you’ve caught one day.”

“Y - yea,” Changkyun nods, as the heat from the tips of his ears spreads downwards. He can feel his cheeks burn. “I’ll bring my log book tomorrow.”

“I can’t wait, Changkyunnie.”

Jooheon screeches into the phone, his excitement evident by his volume, “Did you say you L-O-V-E him?”

“Shhhh, quiet!” Changkyun splutters back, darting furtive glances around in case his parents had somehow over-heard the conversation. Not that there isn’t anything wrong with whatever he’s just said, he thinks (he hopes?), but he doesn’t want his parents listening in! “I didn’t say _that._ ”

“Changkyunnie, I thought I was your best friend,” Jooheon continues, and he can hear the whine in Jooheon’s words.

“You are, you are!”

“You’re not going to replace me, are you?”

“Never, honey-hyung!”

“Good,” Jooheon giggles over the phone. “Okay, tell me more about Hyunwoo-hyung. I want to meet him too!”

To Changkyun’s delight, Hyunwoo continues to eat lunch with him, at least twice a week, even after the first week of school is over. “I said I’d be your friend, didn’t I?” Hyunwoo says simply, when Changkyun asks if Hyunwoo would rather eat with the kids in his year - much like how the rest of the third and fourth years had gone back to their own friends, after “the week of babysitting” (as Changkyun had over-heard one fourth year saying) had ended.

And just like that, Changkyun’s infatuation with Hyunwoo lasts the whole of the school year, although it gets easier as time passes and his face no longer resembles a tomato whenever the older boy looks at him for too long, or pats him on the head whenever he says something the older boy finds endearing (he tries to do this as often as he can).

“Changkyun-ah,” Hyunwoo often starts, whenever Changkyun shares a fact that he’s learnt from his father, his eyes crescenting as he smiles that smile that makes Changkyun feel like he could almost float away, “You’re probably the smartest 6 year old I know.”

“You have to tell him!” Jooheon screams into the phone, when it’s February, and the whole school is buzzing around _Valentine’s Day!!_ as much as a group of children can around the sometimes icky, still very foreign idea of love. “I heard my older sister say that it’s the best time to tell someone you like them.”

“I don’t know, hyung,” Changkyun answers, twisting the phone cord around his finger. “I wouldn’t even know what to do.”

“My sister says you should buy chocolate,” Jooheon says wisely.

“Hyunwoo-hyung does like food a lot.”

So on February 14th, Changkyun shows up to school with a bar of Snickers tucked away safely in his backpack. “Who’s the lucky girl?” his mother had teased, when Changkyun had asked if he could buy a bar of chocolate the day before, and he’d just frowned and ducked his head without replying.

It’s a Tuesday, and Tuesdays and Thursdays are the two days that they have lunch together. An unspoken rule, but a ritual nonetheless. So Changkyun finds Hyunwoo in the cafeteria, the chocolate bar now safe in his pocket, running what he may say to the older boy in his head, _I think you’re really cool. Hyung, I admire you a lot. And I really like it when we have lunch together._

Hyunwoo is there already, waving Changkyun over. “How was class today?”

“Good,” Changkyun answers, too tongue-tied to say anything more. It had been a good day in class. They had English first, and the class had gone through a book he’d read before in Chestnut Hill, and the teacher let him read the first chapter out to the class. “I had fun.”

The din of the cafeteria fills in the gaps in the conversation, as the two start on their lunch. It’s nothing strange, one of the things Changkyun likes most about Hyunwoo-hyung is that he never forces a conversation. It feels different today though - he doesn’t know if it’s because of the chocolate bar weighing heavier and heavier in his pocket, or if it’s a product of his imagination but Hyunwoo-hyung looks troubled, almost.

“Hyung, are you okay?” Changkyun asks, frowning.

“Do you know what day it is today?” Hyunwoo replies instead, and Changkyun’s heart almost stops.

“I - I think so,” Changkyun answers. Should he take out the chocolate bar now? Is that how it works?

Hyunwoo nods absently, and pulls out a folded piece of paper from his pocket. It’s bright pink, in the shape of a heart. The sound of the cafeteria fades into nothing and Changkyun can only hear the sound of his heart-beat in his ears, _is that - could it be for m -_ but there isn’t time for that thought to finish because Hyunwoo turns the heart over, and there, written in cheery glittery characters is Hyunwoo’s name.

“One of the girls in my class gave this to me just now,” Hyunwoo says, and there’s a smile on his face. It’s different from those that Changkyun has received before. This smile is gentle, sheepish and shy, and reminds Changkyun of all the emotions he feels when he looks at his hyung. _To: Hyunwoo-oppa_ , the heart says, and Changkyun can feel his own heart sink to the bottom of his feet, turning into sludge and dripping out of the bottom of his shoes. “Remember when I said I was really scared on the first day of school? She was one of my first friends here.”

“Oh.” The chocolate bar is heavy in his pocket, and he doesn’t think he would ever eat a Snickers ever again in his life.

“I think she’s really fun to be around too,” Hyunwoo says, hesitantly, almost as if it’s a question. There’s an expression on his face that Changkyun has never seen before, and that’s how Changkyun realises, for the first time since the start of their friendship, that Hyunwoo is asking for his advice. That Hyunwoo, kind, handsome, perfect, Hyunwoo isn’t as infallible as Changkyun believes him to be.

“You should tell her.”

“Really?” Hyunwoo asks, surprise on his face at how firm Chankyun’s answer had been.

“Yea, hyung. You should!”

“Would it seem weird if I do?” Hyunwoo frowns, and Changkyun thinks if he could, he’ll make sure Hyunwoo never feels such doubt about himself ever again. His hyung is too wonderful, too brilliant a person to ever need to feel anxious about himself.

“Everyone should know when someone likes them back,” Changkyun says, even as he feels his heart contracting into itself, collapsing into one of those black-holes that his father had showed him photos of on one of their many visits to the library.

“You know, you’re really the smartest 6 year old I know,” Hyunwoo says, smiling at Changkyun with a smile that Changkyun now understands means affection but not in the way that he hopes it is. He ruffles Changkyun’s hair, before keeping the folded heart back into his pocket. “I’m so glad I’ve a younger brother like you.”

 _But that’s okay_ , he says to Jooheon, even though he’s cried himself to sleep almost every other day, after he sees Hyunwoo shyly holding hands with a pretty girl with warm eyes, _I’m only 6. There's still a lot of room in my heart._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading! 
> 
> come talk to me here on [twitter](https://twitter.com/legofroggo), i'm always looking for more people to scream about monsta x with. happy weekend everyone!

**Author's Note:**

> i'd originally intended to finish this in time for kyun's birthday this year, but evidently, life had other plans. curse you, lack of discipline in writing!
> 
> come talk to me on[ twitter](https://twitter.com/legofroggo) , or on my super newly created [curiouscat](https://curiouscat.me/legofroggo), and for everyone (anyone?) who's waiting for an update to Lemonade, i apologise profusely, i'll finish it, i promise!!!


End file.
